Establishing cooperation in a difficult co-parenting situation

On Behalf of | Apr 28, 2023 | Blog, Collaborative Divorce, Custody

When Pennsylvania couples go through a divorce, the relationship doesn’t always stay amicable. However, when that couple has children, both parties typically realize that it’s important to work together for the good of their kids. There are some basic steps that you can take if you want to go from being combative to cooperative as you co-parent your children with your ex.

You don’t have to like each other

One of the foundational principles of collaborative divorce is that you and your ex do not have to like each other to make co-parenting work. Instead, you can get through the process by committing to respecting one another. If friendship isn’t possible right now, focus on cooperating for the good of your children.

Stop focusing on romance

It’s often difficult for divorced parents to go from being romantic partners to being co-parents. Stop putting any focus on restoring the feelings that you and your ex shared during your romantic connection. Instead, prioritize the new relationship that you have as co-parents.

Leave the past in the past

While there is no easy way to forget the history that you and your ex shared, you can work together to put the past in the past. Remember that the divorce marks a new start, and you and your ex can use this opportunity to transition to a new phase of your relationship. You’re a different person now, and so are they, so you can agree to start your new relationship with the goal of collaborating to benefit your children.

Facing resistance

It’s frustrating when you want to create a cooperative relationship and your ex doesn’t. However, sometimes going from combative to cooperative requires one parent to take the first step. Simply begin by treating your ex the way that you would like them to treat you, establishing a pattern of cooperation and respect.

The primary purpose of co-parenting is to put the needs of your children first. Taking combativeness out of the equation allows you to do that.

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