How to effectively parallel parent

On Behalf of | Apr 22, 2024 | Divorce

Following a less-than-amicable divorce, you may struggle communicating with your former partner. When you have children, you may want to coparent, but if you and your spouse cannot agree to work together, what can you do?

Parallel parenting is an option that allows you to parent together with minimal contact.

Communicate clearly and respectfully

Communication is vital when it comes to parallel parenting. Keep conversations focused on the children and their needs. Be clear and respectful in your communication with your co-parent. Use neutral language and avoid blaming or criticizing each other.

Create a detailed parenting plan

Develop a detailed parenting plan outlining responsibilities, schedules, and expectations. This plan should cover everything from daily routines to holidays and vacations. Having a clear plan in place can help reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.

Once you agree to a plan, stick to it. Consistency creates stability and predictability for the children.

Keep children out of conflict

Parallel parenting can help shield children from parental conflict. Avoid discussing issues with your former spouse in front of your kids. Save disagreements to private conversations.

Children will respect both parents more if they show respect for one another. Arguing and fighting over parenting styles, for example, can cause children to experience high levels of stress and anxiety.

Do not criticize or undermine each other in front of your kids.

Parallel parenting can be stressful, so don’t forget to care for yourself. Make time for self-care activities and seek support from friends, family or a therapist. Taking care of yourself will help you be a better parent to your children.

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